I have been struggling and no, I don't deem this as a weak statement or see myself as a weakling. I feel that if I'm struggling, it shows that I am actually stepping out from my comfort zone to achieve something better. It's been really hard trying to come into terms with myself to achieve inner peace and agreement as my head and my heart speaks in two different language. It'll be easy for me to say that I'm done trying for myself and try to seek comfort from another individual but no, this time I want to stand up for myself. I want myself to be stronger, better and more independent.

Maybe I'm too scarred by incidents that happened where I lost faith in life but maybe if I do try to protect myself by building walls around me, it might do me a little good for now. I just don't want to end up where I was before because it took me so long to get to where I am now. I guess I've been too trusting, giving and caring that at the end of the day, the only one that's getting hurt is myself.

I used to be a person where I like to hide away from my problems. I perceive that if I push the problems to the back of my head, the problems cease to exist. But time after time, I find myself falling back into the circle of thoughts which kills me a little more inside across time. I'm just done depending on someone. I'm done trying to feel better about life through someone else's support because no matter what, everyone leaves someday. It might not be tomorrow, a month or a year later, but eventually.